“No.”
She reached across the table.
Touched his hand.
“It became funny because I survived it.”
He looked at their hands.
Martha continued.
“I was humiliated almost every day of that journey.”
“Still came.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
She thought.
“Because staying somewhere people tolerated me felt worse than going somewhere nobody knew me.”
Elias squeezed her fingers.
Martha looked at him.
“What?”
“I’m glad you came.”
The words were simple.
Her eyes filled.
She hated crying.
It made her feel exposed.
Elias moved his chair closer.
Martha did not retreat.
He raised one hand.
Again, waited.
She nodded.
He touched her face.
Then kissed her.
This time no rider interrupted.
The kiss was slow.
Careful at first.
Martha’s hand moved into his hair.
Elias’s other hand rested at her side.
He felt the enormous softness of her body beneath fabric.
Not as a problem.
Not as novelty.
As her.
Martha pulled him closer.
His restraint shook.
He broke the kiss.
Breathing hard.
“Tell me if I’m too much.”
She stared at him.
Then laughed.
“Elias.”
“What?”
“Do you hear yourself?”
He blinked.
She looked down at herself.
Then back.
“If one of us is too much, statistically it is not you.”
He laughed so hard he leaned forward.
Martha kissed him again before he recovered.
That night they did not become lovers fully.
Not yet.
They sat on the porch wrapped in blankets and talked until stars filled the sky.
Elias told her about Anna.
Not every detail.
Enough.
He said Anna had been small.
Quick-tempered.
Loved berry pies.
Hated sewing.
Ben had curly hair.
Collected smooth stones.
Asked questions until Elias wanted to hide.
Martha listened.
No jealousy.
No competition.
The dead deserve their place.
Love does not require eviction.
When Martha finally went to bed, Elias walked her to the door.
She looked at him.
“You don’t need permission to kiss me goodnight now.”
“Useful information.”
He kissed her.
Then stopped himself.
“Goodnight.”
Martha smiled.
“Coward.”
He laughed quietly.
“Absolutely.”
The first survey men appeared two days later.
Three riders.
Red stakes.
Chains.
Equipment.
Elias saw them from the ridge.
His entire posture changed.
Martha was beside him.
“Don’t.”
“I haven’t done anything.”
“You are thinking loudly.”