Power over herself.
She had chosen this.
That mattered.
She asked:
“Well?”
Caleb stared at her.
“If you ask me what I think, I’m liable to embarrass both of us.”
“Try.”
He looked toward the stove.
“No.”
“Coward.”
His eyes returned instantly.
That worked.
“You want honesty?”
“Yes.”
“I think you've made sleeping on the floor considerably harder.”
Eleanor smiled.
“Better.”
“I think that nightgown should probably be illegal.”
She laughed.
Caleb looked surprised by his own words.
Then added quickly:
“I mean—”
“No.”
She lifted one finger.
“Do not ruin it.”
He closed his mouth.
They stood close again.
Eleanor took another breath.
“Then kiss me.”
Caleb stopped.
Every trace of humor disappeared.
“What?”
“You heard me.”
His hand left her waist immediately.
He stepped backward.
Eleanor’s heart dropped.
There it was.
Something.
Finally.
“What?”
Caleb looked genuinely panicked.
“I can't.”
She stared.
“Why?”
He looked toward the door.
Locked.
Then the window.
Then the floor.
Anywhere but her.
Eleanor felt old humiliation return.
“Caleb.”
He rubbed both hands over his face.
“Lord.”
“What?”
“I knew this was going to happen.”
“What was?”
“You'd eventually realize you married an idiot.”
Eleanor blinked.
“I do not understand.”
“Neither do I.”
He paced once.
The cabin was too small for pacing.
Three strides and he nearly hit the table.
He turned.
His face had become red again.
Eleanor folded her arms.
“I am waiting.”
“I’ve never done this.”
“Been married?”
“That too.”
“Caleb.”
He looked miserable.
Then finally:
“I've never been with a woman.”
Silence.
Outside, wind pushed snow against the window.
Inside, Eleanor simply stared.
Caleb looked ready to walk through the wall.
She said:
“Never.”
“No.”
“Kissed one?”
His embarrassment deepened.
“No.”
Eleanor’s mouth opened.
Closed.
Caleb continued quickly, as though he needed to finish before courage vanished.
“My mother died when I was eight.”
“Father brought me west at thirteen.”
“We trapped.”
“Moved.”
“Stayed in camps.”
“He died when I was nineteen.”
“After that I kept doing what I knew.”
“Came into town twice a year.”
“Sold pelts.”
“Bought supplies.”
“Left.”
Eleanor stared.
“You are thirty-two.”
“I know how numbers work.”
Despite herself, she laughed.
Caleb frowned.
“You're laughing.”
“A little.”
“I knew this was a mistake.”