“Some winters I realize I haven't heard another person speak in six weeks.”
Eleanor’s arms loosened.
Caleb continued.
“I started talking to the horse.”
“That seems reasonable.”
“The horse stopped listening.”
She laughed despite herself.
Caleb looked surprised.
Then something warmer appeared in his eyes.
He continued.
“I didn't want somebody to cook for me.”
“I can cook.”
“I know.”
“You mentioned it in every second letter.”
“I was trying to sound useful.”
“You sounded terrified.”
“I was.”
“Of what?”
“Being rejected by a stranger who lived two thousand miles away.”
He looked at her.
“Three thousand.”
“That somehow makes it worse.”
Eleanor smiled.
Caleb’s face softened.
Then he said quietly:
“I wanted footsteps in the cabin that weren't mine.”
That took the humor from her.
He continued.
“Someone to speak to at supper.”
“Someone who might notice if I didn't come back from a trap line.”
“Someone whose things would be hanging beside mine.”
He looked toward the blue dress folded over the chair.
“Someone who made the place feel like more than somewhere I happened to survive.”
Eleanor felt something tighten beneath her ribs.
She did not like it.
Tenderness had become dangerous once before.
She protected herself with skepticism.
“And the bed?”
Caleb’s entire body seemed to tighten.
“What about it?”
“You omitted that part.”
“Intentionally.”
“Why?”
He looked toward the floor.
“I told you.”
“No.”
“You said I owe you nothing.”
“Yes.”
“That does not tell me whether you want anything.”
Caleb looked up.
That was a mistake.
His eyes answered faster than his mouth.
Eleanor stopped breathing for a moment.
There was desire there.
Clear.
Strong.
Almost startling in its intensity.
He looked away immediately.
Now she understood.
He had not ignored her when she stepped from behind the screen.
He had looked away because he had not trusted himself to continue looking.
Eleanor moved around the table.
Caleb took one step backward.
She stopped.
“You are retreating.”
“No.”
“You moved.”
“There was a chair.”
“There is no chair behind you.”
He glanced backward.
No chair.
Eleanor lifted one eyebrow.
Caleb looked annoyed at the cabin for betraying him.
She took another step.
He remained where he was.
“Do you want me?”
His jaw tightened.
“Eleanor.”
“It is a simple question.”
“No.”
Her stomach dropped.
Then he immediately said:
“That isn't what I meant.”
She stared.
He rubbed one hand across his beard.
“I mean it is not a simple question.”
“It sounded simple.”
“No.”
“Then answer the complicated version.”
Caleb looked at her.
His voice became lower.
“Yes.”
Eleanor’s pulse quickened.
He continued:
“Enough that I’ve spent the last hour trying not to make you afraid.”
She felt heat rise into her face.
Caleb looked miserable.
“Which is why I’m going to sleep by the stove.”
Eleanor almost laughed.
“You think wanting me becomes safer if you are six feet away?”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“It becomes easier.”
“For whom?”
“Me.”
There was such sincerity in it that Eleanor could not find an easy response.
So she decided to test him.