“Why didn’t you hit him?”
“Because you asked me not to.”
“That’s the only reason?”
Nathaniel thought.
“No.”
“What’s the other?”
“I’d rather go home with my wife.”
Adeline looked away because her face had become too emotional.
The first month of marriage was awkward.
Beautifully awkward.
Nathaniel moved into the smaller room downstairs because Adeline’s body made the narrow upstairs stairs increasingly difficult.
He converted the study into a bedroom for them.
He built a wider bed.
Adeline watched from the doorway.
“You built that in three days.”
“Yes.”
“Why so wide?”
Nathaniel stared at her.
Adeline realized.
“Oh.”
He rubbed his neck.
“I wanted you comfortable.”
“That’s all?”
Nathaniel’s face reddened.
Adeline smiled.
“Mr. Cole.”
“Mrs. Cole.”
“Are you embarrassed?”
“No.”
“Yes.”
Nathaniel went back to hammering.
Their first kiss happened that night.
Not because of a wedding expectation.
Not because a pastor had pronounced them married.
Adeline stood beside the finished bed.
Nathaniel stood several feet away.
She asked:
“Do you find me attractive?”
Nathaniel nearly dropped the blanket he was holding.
“What?”
“Answer.”
He stared.
Adeline’s courage nearly failed.
“Men have mocked me my entire life.”
“Samuel loved me.”
“But sometimes I wondered if he loved me despite my body.”
She looked at Nathaniel.
“You look at me.”
“Then you look away.”
Nathaniel put down the blanket.
“I look away because I’m trying not to make you uncomfortable.”
“Why would looking make me uncomfortable?”
“Because the first morning you accused me of staring.”
Adeline almost laughed.
“That was different.”
“How?”
“I thought you were disgusted.”
Nathaniel stepped closer.
“I was not.”
“Then what were you?”
He looked at her.
The answer was clear enough that Adeline’s breath changed.
“Nathaniel.”
He stopped.
“Tell me if you want me farther away.”
She shook her head.
He moved closer.
Adeline lifted one hand.
Placed it against his chest.
Nathaniel did not touch her yet.
She looked up.
“You can.”
That permission mattered more to him than the wedding vows.
He placed one hand gently against her waist.
His palm did not span even a fraction of her.
Adeline laughed softly.
Nathaniel frowned.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“You’re laughing.”
“Your hand looks very small.”
Nathaniel looked down.
Then laughed too.
“You’re insulting your husband.”
“Observation.”
He leaned closer.
“So is this.”
Then kissed her.
Slowly.
Adeline stiffened for half a second.
Then relaxed.
Her hand curled into his shirt.
Nathaniel felt years of loneliness crack open.
He kissed her again.
Longer.
Still gentle.
When he pulled away, Adeline rested her forehead against his chest.
“You’re trembling.”
“So are you.”