Four missing.
The Homeowner’s was one of them.
Every affected resident changed locks.
The HOA paid.
No debate.
The Homeowner also replaced his entire rear entry system.
He chose electronic access this time.
Individual codes.
Entry logs.
No physical master key.
His python remained secure.
The animal seemed entirely indifferent to the scandal.
The Homeowner found that comforting.
One evening, he sat near the enclosure after feeding.
The python moved slowly beneath a branch.
Calm.
Predictable.
No knowledge of HOA meetings.
No concern about invoices.
The Homeowner smiled.
“You caused a lot of paperwork for something that sleeps twenty hours a day.”
The python did not respond.
Better conversationalist than most board members.
His younger brother visited the following weekend.
He stared at the enclosure.
“So she thought that was a dog kennel?”
“Yes.”
“Did she think the snake barked?”
The Homeowner laughed for the first time in days.
“That’s not helping.”
“It’s helping me.”
His brother became serious.
“You okay?”
The Homeowner looked toward the gate.
“I don’t know.”
“Animal’s safe.”
“Yes.”
“You’re safe.”
“Yes.”
“Then?”
The Homeowner hesitated.
“I keep thinking about what if.”
“What if the snake ate it?”
“Yes.”
“What if you had a dog?”
“Yes.”
“What if cameras weren’t there?”
“Yes.”
His brother nodded.
“You can do that forever.”
“I know.”
“Doesn’t mean stop caring.”
“Just don’t move into a timeline that didn’t happen.”
The Homeowner looked at him.
“That was unexpectedly useful.”
“I contain multitudes.”
The criminal case moved slowly.
Months.
The HOA President resigned before charges were finalized.
Her resignation letter blamed “personal attacks and distorted reporting.”
Residents were furious.
The Homeowner felt almost nothing.
He had stopped expecting her to narrate events honestly.
Then prosecutors announced charges related to unlawful entry, animal cruelty allegations, possession of a harmful substance, and evidence connected with attempted poisoning.
Specific counts would be determined by the court.
The Homeowner avoided public statements.
Reporters still came.
One asked:
“What was your reaction when you realized she thought the python was a dog?”
The Homeowner stared.